Lifestyle, Mental Health

Checking In While I’m Checked Out

Hey, friends!

The past few weeks have been hard. Between the encroaching holidays, work picking up, starting birth control, and Depression kicking in my front door — I’m exhausted. The sort of exhaustion that’s like: I didn’t get much sleep last night. Or the night before. Or the past six weeks…but at the same time, I’ve done nothing but lay around.

This whole month of November has been so frustrating. I had loads of ideas for blog posts for this month and to schedule for Blogmas, there were outdoorsy things I wanted to do before it got too cold, it’s NaNoWriMo and I haven’t written one single word that hasn’t been a tweet, Instagram caption, or comment somewhere. So many things I wanted to do, so little inspiration.

For the first couple of weeks, I think I spent any and all free time mindlessly scrolling through social media, which obviously did not help my mind. So, for the past week, I’ve tried to stay away from it (Facebook and Twitter, primarily). I’ve spent more time on Pinterest and Instagram, soaking in inspiration and creativity while not having the motivation to execute any ideas. Then, finally, I started reading again on Thursday. I picked up a book and could finally connect with it, get lost in it. I read another book on Saturday. I’ll start another one today if I get a free minute at work.

And here I am, November 20th, writing a rambly blog post for the sake of publishing something and reaching out to you all, and proving to myself that the words are still there somewhere. I still have loads of posts to write and publish/schedule, so look forward to those. (Sneak peak? Book reviews, our weekend trip to Knoxville, holiday goodness, and a sappy “How We Met” story since Jonny and I just celebrated our first year of marriage!) 🙂

Most of the people I’ve talked to in the ~Real World~ have mentioned how slowly their days are going, their low energy, and their desire for the year to just be over–but also their excitement for cozying up and celebrating holidays. Lots of ups and downs happening, I feel. What have you all been up to the past few weeks? I’ve been keeping up on blog posts (I think), but how have you been? What’s new?

We’ll be back to regularly scheduled programing soon.

~ Kaiya

You can also find me on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Goodreads. 💗
NEW: I have a Ko-fi account! I would super appreciate any donations toward
my chai lattes, Jonny’s chocolates, Ella’s cat toys, and Alfred’s crickets. 💑🐱🐸

16 thoughts on “Checking In While I’m Checked Out”

  1. Hello Friend! As said above by…well, everyone, sorry about the depression – as I don’t experience it myself, I can’t give you any tips but I express my sympathy 🙂
    Happy Thanksgiving, if you celebrate it!! I get to spend time with my family and cat today – can’t wait!
    As to blog posts….My co-contributor has been a lot behind on posting, and I just haven’t felt right posting more than them, in addition to a crazy schedule these past few weeks and a lack of inspiration 🙂 That’s all I’m going to say as to blog posts, but I can’t wait to see what I come up with around Christmas – that’s when my blog inspiration will kick back in (It was around Christmas that I thought of STSI and asked Little Snake, and February before we got it up and running 🙂 )
    Keep your head up, Kaiya! Smile for me, please!
    -Little Lion, STSI

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hello to you, my lion friend! x

      Thank you for your kind words and sympathy and well wishes. You always lift my spirits. Happy belated Thanksgiving to you! I had a fab time at my auntie’s house, then a full Friday of watching Hallmark Christmas movies. 🙂

      I hope the Christmas spirit is inspiring you! It’s December 1st! Wild. I’m finally going to post something new today, so look out. 😉

      Best wishes. xxx


  2. Sorry to hear you’ve been having a tough time. Is depression something you are usually tackling or is it something that has either started or intensified since starting birth control? I only ask as I can no longer take any hormone related birth control as it makes me crazy and sends my anxiety off the charts. And if I’m getting super bad anxiety then depression is following right behind. Just thought I’d mention it as drs seem to hand it out like it does nothing negative and for some of us it really does!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m sorry to get back to you so late, Rach! Depression and anxiety are both things I deal with regularly, so my talks with my doctor included things like “please regulate my hormones” and “please make my skin clear” and “make the stupid blood curse go away”, haha. I’m on month two and feeling MUCH better! ❤ x


  3. I know exactly how you feel! I’ve been very absent on sites that actually require some creative effort – most notably on here and Instagram – and it’s just like you don’t want to do a single thing…but you want to do all the things. I really think the time change messes everyone up because I’m STILL trying to get it together with my sleep and work schedule but I’m ready to sleep all the time. I look forward to your upcoming posts! Also, congrats on starting birth control. It’s a strange journey for some and I hope it’s not too daunting for you in these beginning months!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Three years later, here I am replying to you.

      After almost an entire month of very little social media/blog interaction, I’m feeling heaps better. I don’t think I’ll be doing Blogmas like I’d intended, but I do have some content ready for the month and am dipping my toes back in to the internet pools. And month two of birth control is going much smoother! 🙂 xx

      Liked by 1 person

    2. Thanks, Haylie! Blogmas is a ~thing where bloggers post every day leading up to Christmas. I’ve seen a couple of variations: 12 Days of Blogmas where one posts every other day, and another 12 Days of Blogmas where one posts the 12 days leading up to Christmas instead of throughout December. All three options are far too much for me this year, haha.


  4. Kaiya, good for you for pushing through and writing something. I am so familiar with what you are going through, and certainly know what it is like to feel disconnected from writing. When I am anxious, I get paralyzed and can’t seem to do anything but scroll twitter, which makes things even worse since it is all horrible. Just don’t beat yourself up and take care of you. The pieces will fall back into place soon. xo

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right, Tanya, about the paralyzing quality of anxiety and Twitter just compounding the anxiety. It’s another cycle: feel overwhelmed with ideas, lose all productivity, scroll twitter/social media blindly, become overwhelmed with ideas… I feel the pieces falling back in to place now, but I’m trying to bring them together slowly so that I don’t get bogged down in ALL OF THE THINGS. xxxxx


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